I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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