I must be too annoying 4 u.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
