Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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