third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
