8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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