2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
