clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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