Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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