As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
