Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
