Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Farmville is her only friend.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I just found puke in my bra..
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
