Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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