Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
