on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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