You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Randomize
