And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
this is an emotional support booty call
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Randomize