I wanna passion pit in your ass
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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