I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Randomize
