She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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