Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize