Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(410): View more from Maryland

He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.

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(713): View more from Texas

I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.

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(817): View more from Texas

she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.

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(973): View more from New Jersey

this is a time for prayers...seriously

(1-973): View more from New Jersey

let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?

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(828): View more from North Carolina

It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.

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(705): View more from Ontario

All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions

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(501): View more from Arkansas

PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.

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