So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
