he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
