are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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