Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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