I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
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He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
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Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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