I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
