I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I think your dad took our porno
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