I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
