At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
