Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
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