you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
