Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
