i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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