Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
