just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
