Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
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