can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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