i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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