I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
