It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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