Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
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