A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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