Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
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If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
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He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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