yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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