So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize