Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
should my penis look like a turkey
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
