You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
True strength comes from lack of pants
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
