Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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