oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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