Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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