Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the room spins SO much faster in panama
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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