isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Just pee around me
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
