I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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