I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
We got so high we made milksteak
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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