my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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