Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
