Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
