toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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