highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize