somebody snuck up and got me drunk
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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