Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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