BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Randomize
