Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
you would pick up someone in the library
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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