So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
