I wanna bring you to show and tell
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
