Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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