I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
There was a lot of him and a little penis
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
