I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
